I hate to say it . . . actually I LOVE to say it but I told you so. Another season is complete and yours truly, the Honorable Sir Scoop McLeak, predicted the Champion once again. Everyone repeat after me: Scoop is ALWAYS right!
Sorry, this article is being printed a bit late but with my winnings from picking the Eagles, 18-1 odds to win it last preseason, combined with the 7-2 NFC East Champ odds I decided to pick up my winnings and hop on the next jet to get some well-deserved BB&B (beach, booze and boobs). With Philly picking up their first title since Coach OSS was a young lad, I was even able to finance a bit of luxury this time. Not the usual cheap booze and cheaper women I get from the measly salary Ebenezer Brza pays me. So, at least the commish was good for something this year. Enough of my life of luxury though, its time I told you how the Philadelphia Eagles finally captured their first SML Bowl victory.
The Eagles dominated the competition racking up a 15-1 record in the regular season while beating 4 playoff teams plus the perennial champion Minnesota Peterson’s in what was a must-win game for the Vikings to have a shot at the playoffs. But Philly’s troubles have never been in the regular season. It’s always been the post-season that has given Philly more problems than that second cheesesteak from Geno’s at 3am on a Saturday night.
The Eagles rolled to a win versus the Cardinals in the Divisonal Round behind an excellent display from the Philadelphia secondary or maybe it was just due to Zona QB Skelton being seriously red-green colorblind. He had nearly as many completions to the Birds in green as he did to his own red and white brethren.
Philadelphia started out the NFC Championship in much the same fashion, jumping out to a quick 17-0 lead versus the Lions behind suffocating defense and a solid ground attack. But it seemed that the typical Philly playoff luck was returning as Kicker Alex Henery suddenly couldn’t hit the broad side of a barn as he missed his next 4 FGs in a row!! The Lions battled back but their drives took time as the Birds’ secondary shut Megatron down, (first time all year Megatron was held under 50 yards). With one final chance to tie it up in the fourth Stafford threw his FIFTH pick of the game and Woodson sealed the victory for Philly.
Most thought that SML Bowl VII would be a throwback game where defense really wins championships as the Browns’ 3rd ranked defense faced off against the Eagles’ 5th best unit. Both teams were also in search of their first Superbowl victory and SML Championship. The underdog story of Cleveland’s chief, from leader of the Dawg Pound fan club to leading his favorite team to the Superbowl in one year was a story never before seen in sports history. And many thought this made-for-Disney-movie script would be enough to give the Browns the edge. They should of just asked old Scoop though because as I said before “Scoop is ALWAYS right”.
The Eagles D put the clamps on “Truckstick”-Rich through gang-tackling. He managed to break tackles as usual but he rarely had a chance to catch his breath as the next tackler was waiting for him. With Richardson controlled, the game played right into the Eagles’ talons. The Browns had several three-and-outs which left Philly in good field position.
The three-headed rushing attack of McCoy, Armstrong and Vick racked up over 200 hundred yards on the ground as Vick lead the way with 103 yards and a TD. The Browns fought back but had no answer for Vick (286 total yards and 4 TDs) at the end of the day. And Woodson added another 2 picks to ensure Philly would finally bring home the Lombardi.
The Philadelphia Super Bowl victory parade also went better than expected. Only 10,000 people were killed in the celebration and the others enjoyed themselves. I also won the over-under on the death-toll from the parade so I’ve extended my stay here in the lap of luxury.
So the morale of the story here kids is Scoop is ALWAYS right! And now I am predicting the commish will give me a raise. . . Ha, guess I can’t have everything!